So I choose to stand, not to fall.
No, today is no special day.
This place is filled with cobwebs and spiders, sorry. Doubt anyone comes here because I'm almost never here. I don't have very much to say, great lack of words. Maybe because I've not been here nor touched the computer for quite awhile now. Not that I've been studying that hard.
Over the past few months, very very much has happened. And I think I've grown into someone, something else. I don't know nor care if it's good or bad, but I just knowI have to keep going on. It's as simple as that. I'm here, maybe because I had a bad experience. Or maybe I've had bad days, weeks, months. The most fearful thing to me now, is losing my faith. Cause then, I'd begin to lose God. No. No nightmares for me.
I have absolutely no idea what to fill this place with. I've not written anything besides letters and compositions that lack inspiration and creativity - What not.
Sorry to those I've not been in contact with for forever. I've been very much, a mindless clone. Aimless and lost. Not forgetting empty, robbed and defeated. Maybe I'm exaggerating but who really knows? I don't. And I don't think I really care about letting my emotions run free anymore. I've become so open to my emotions that I've stopped hiding and running from it like how I've been running over the past few months. All I know's that I'm utterly numb. Numb to the fact that I'm about to graduate. Numb that I realised saying goodbye never felt easier. Numb because I doubt these four years of my life, for being mundane and impactless.
CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School has left me with many fond memories. It was and still is the place where I bloomed and failed as a person. I made many mistakes, failed many times. But I also grew as a person through the lessons my teachers taught me. My gym teachers in charge, dear form teacher and subject teachers. Though I've not done much to say thank you or show gratitude, I know I'll miss them when I go. Isn't secondary school life the part of life people miss most? All I know, to each her and his own. Ahead to JC or Poly.
It still hasn't hit me, that I'll be leaving my juniors, my friends and most of all, the school that groomed me and opened it's doors to me back in Primary four. No signs of reluctance to leave, nor heartwrenching feelings. Now I ask myself, what is wrong with you? Anyhow, I've got a lot of work to do. My studies have taken priority ever since, ever. But I know God knows what He's doing. I trust Him. I can ramble on and on yet not knowing why or what I'm saying. Because I've long run out of words to say.
Just on Saturday, I realised what it meant to let your tears run free. With no restrictions, no hindrances, no interruptions, no nothing. Just God and I. And I broke before Him. I've held back for so long, thinking I could hold on till over the Os. But I can't and I couldn't. I'm thankful for friends who were there with me, to ask what's wrong, to even write me a card on the spot, leaving it right under my nose just to cheer me up. Now, that's what friends are for. To be with you through the thick and the thin. Even when you're on the edge. They take the risk with and for you. They protect you and your well-being. So thank you friends. Thank you. Just the last stretch and I'm done.
Now all that's left for me to do is to run around in circles, screaming, yelling, crying, whining, but. Worshipping. Irregardless of all negativity, all bleakness and blurriness, I want to choose to worship in the bad times. Because that's where faith is built. That's where you are built.
Anyone who reads this and are kind enough, remind me of what I said. I'm terribly vulnerable and gullible due to a major crash of my inner being. Haha, please don't take advantage alright. I truly need the support and spur cause I've lost a lot that are very crucial at this point of time. After all, November is in a few days.
To those taking the Os and the As, don't give up alright? We're almost there and done with the exams. Tedious and tough year but keep your eyes on God and He'll take over. He'll be your strength, wisdom and guide all through this time. You're not alone!
Once again, here's goodbye from me again. And thank you. Take care all, God Bless.
This place is filled with cobwebs and spiders, sorry. Doubt anyone comes here because I'm almost never here. I don't have very much to say, great lack of words. Maybe because I've not been here nor touched the computer for quite awhile now. Not that I've been studying that hard.
Over the past few months, very very much has happened. And I think I've grown into someone, something else. I don't know nor care if it's good or bad, but I just knowI have to keep going on. It's as simple as that. I'm here, maybe because I had a bad experience. Or maybe I've had bad days, weeks, months. The most fearful thing to me now, is losing my faith. Cause then, I'd begin to lose God. No. No nightmares for me.
I have absolutely no idea what to fill this place with. I've not written anything besides letters and compositions that lack inspiration and creativity - What not.
Sorry to those I've not been in contact with for forever. I've been very much, a mindless clone. Aimless and lost. Not forgetting empty, robbed and defeated. Maybe I'm exaggerating but who really knows? I don't. And I don't think I really care about letting my emotions run free anymore. I've become so open to my emotions that I've stopped hiding and running from it like how I've been running over the past few months. All I know's that I'm utterly numb. Numb to the fact that I'm about to graduate. Numb that I realised saying goodbye never felt easier. Numb because I doubt these four years of my life, for being mundane and impactless.
CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School has left me with many fond memories. It was and still is the place where I bloomed and failed as a person. I made many mistakes, failed many times. But I also grew as a person through the lessons my teachers taught me. My gym teachers in charge, dear form teacher and subject teachers. Though I've not done much to say thank you or show gratitude, I know I'll miss them when I go. Isn't secondary school life the part of life people miss most? All I know, to each her and his own. Ahead to JC or Poly.
It still hasn't hit me, that I'll be leaving my juniors, my friends and most of all, the school that groomed me and opened it's doors to me back in Primary four. No signs of reluctance to leave, nor heartwrenching feelings. Now I ask myself, what is wrong with you? Anyhow, I've got a lot of work to do. My studies have taken priority ever since, ever. But I know God knows what He's doing. I trust Him. I can ramble on and on yet not knowing why or what I'm saying. Because I've long run out of words to say.
Just on Saturday, I realised what it meant to let your tears run free. With no restrictions, no hindrances, no interruptions, no nothing. Just God and I. And I broke before Him. I've held back for so long, thinking I could hold on till over the Os. But I can't and I couldn't. I'm thankful for friends who were there with me, to ask what's wrong, to even write me a card on the spot, leaving it right under my nose just to cheer me up. Now, that's what friends are for. To be with you through the thick and the thin. Even when you're on the edge. They take the risk with and for you. They protect you and your well-being. So thank you friends. Thank you. Just the last stretch and I'm done.
Now all that's left for me to do is to run around in circles, screaming, yelling, crying, whining, but. Worshipping. Irregardless of all negativity, all bleakness and blurriness, I want to choose to worship in the bad times. Because that's where faith is built. That's where you are built.
Anyone who reads this and are kind enough, remind me of what I said. I'm terribly vulnerable and gullible due to a major crash of my inner being. Haha, please don't take advantage alright. I truly need the support and spur cause I've lost a lot that are very crucial at this point of time. After all, November is in a few days.
To those taking the Os and the As, don't give up alright? We're almost there and done with the exams. Tedious and tough year but keep your eyes on God and He'll take over. He'll be your strength, wisdom and guide all through this time. You're not alone!
Once again, here's goodbye from me again. And thank you. Take care all, God Bless.
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